The differences between The Patrician and myself may not be as great as I had hitherto prided myself.


(Because 17.4 million lemmings can’t all be wrong)

Even by my standards … my output on Medium has, of late, been an irregular mixed bag and not terribly substantial either — barely even lightweight nonsense, never mind anything of substance.

There are a variety of reasons for that — not least that I haven’t really had much I particularly wanted to say … nor the élan to say it even if I had.

But something has been on my mind for a while and I’m motivated to say something about it at last.

First a preamble…


(A Beginners’ Guide To Reclaiming Online Privacy)

[Last Updated: 2021.08.01]

There were problems that arose with the original post of this, because … at something over forty-one thousand words … every time I made edits and saved it, my account would get suspended whilst under investigation, because it kept getting picked up by Medium’s spam filters and, seemingly, they can’t put a permanent exception on an article, only unblock it until the next time it trips the filters and the whole miserable rigmarole of saying “Oi! Medium! NO!” has to be restarted.

So, I got fed up with…


Well, well, well …

It appears there has been some confusion on the part of some … some of whom appear to be thick as a brick, with the word ‘JOKE’ painted on it, smashed into their face ¹ … re some of my more deadpan satire.

So, in the name of clarity, let me clarify for you, how to discern when I am being serious and when not — hopefully the clarity/clarify combo there makes my intent clearer; after all, I wouldn’t want anyone to be confused by ̶m̶o̶n̶o̶s̶y̶l̶l̶a̶b̶i̶c̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶o̶s̶y̶l̶l̶a̶b̶l̶e̶s̶̶ words ̶c̶o̶n̶t̶a̶i̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ … <sigh> with more than one sound…


I laughed so hard for so long, I wasn’t sure if I’d soil myself before I died of asphyxiation or after


Dear Mr Gates,

I have now received two Covid vaccines and I am most disappointed to have to inform you that I still can’t receive a 5G signal.

What should I do?

Can I get a replacement?

Or an upgrade?

A firmware update?


You decide

Is there evidence to suggest that Facebook (and associated properties) are a front for a cult bent on universal domination by enveloping the minds of the masses in a fog of confusion that shrouds the World in nightmarish irreality … the dread spirit of H.P. Lovecraft squatting, like John Malkovich, within its latest vessel (Mark Zuckerberg) ?

Photographs of the former


Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sundays … something
Oh, God, I’m bored

*siii…iii…iigh*


Dee Snider has let himself go since the halcyon days as frontman for Twisted Sister.

Where Angels Fear

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.

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