Well, well, well …

It appears there has been some confusion on the part of some … some of whom appear to be thick as a brick, with the word ‘JOKE’ painted on it, smashed into their face ¹ … re some of my more deadpan satire.

So, in the name of clarity, let me clarify for you, how to discern when I am being serious and when not — hopefully the clarity/clarify combo there makes my intent clearer; after all, I wouldn’t want anyone to be confused by ̶m̶o̶n̶o̶s̶y̶l̶l̶a̶b̶i̶c̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶o̶s̶y̶l̶l̶a̶b̶l̶e̶s̶̶ words ̶c̶o̶n̶t̶a̶i̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ … <sigh> with more than one sound in them.

Sometimes I appear serious when I‘m joking and sometimes I appear to be joking when I’m deadly serious, but I only ever say what I mean or don’t mean, leaving you room to note either the obvious implications along the way or else infer your own.

If I don’t state it explicitly and you’re in doubt as to whether I implied something or not then it’s safe to assume that I didn’t but might have intended that you infer it.

There again, you might just be imagining things.

If I do state it explicitly, if it isn’t clear whether I mean it, it’s probably safe to assume that I might do but, equally, might not. How outrageous is what I’ve said? The more outrageous, the less likely that I mean it (unless I do, of course). But, it depends upon whose standards we are judging by: there are many things I’ve said in the course of my life that other people have considered outrageous simply because they were, themselves, too ignorant to be capable of believing them — if you can’t imagine that flying turtles might exist then, when I tell you of them, you will consider my remarks outrageous.

When in doubt, assume nothing and ask instead … it’s by far the best way not to make mistakes as a result of erroneous beliefs — although it’s entirely your own fault if I ridicule you mercilessly as a result ³.

See … it’s not that difficult really, is it?

So, there’s no call to embarrass yourself by asking needless questions.

Remember …

South Park — Mr Garrison: “There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.”

¹ Like a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster … only cheaper and not nearly as subtle ².

² I abhor redundancy and strive for the concise in my communications … and a gold brick with a slice of lemon wrapped around it is unnecessarily liable to result in distraction from the point being made, I feel — people question the significance of the gold and/or the lemon … thus, rather ironically, missing the thrust of the message.

³ Seriously? You had to ask? About something that obvious?

⁴ When they taught you reading comprehension in school, had Caxton invented the printing press yet or were you sent on educational day trips to the local monastery?

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Where Angels Fear

Where Angels Fear

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.