Do you fear the fin
Yes … yes, I do.
you shouldn’t
Yes … yes, I should.
Using cold hard data to challenge your irrational shark fears
There’s nothing irrational about it.
You are walking toward the waves, and your mind starts playing iconic music that indicates danger is approaching from the deeper waters — what do you do? Run back to the shore?
If you’ve got any sense, yes.
In fact … if you’ve got any sense, you’re not even there to begin with!
And the reason for that is
You shouldn’t f**king be there!
Don’t tell me … let me guess … your next post is going to be about the joys of camping.
Well, I’ve got news for you … there are no joys of camping.
Or hiking.
Or picnicking.
Many people fear that even getting near the ocean will result in a sudden shark attack.
Because it will.
Hollywood has traumatized us! We easily believe sharks are lurking near the shore just waiting for a victim to wander into their mouths.
They are.
But it is not true.
Yes. It. IS!
Someone is keeping track of global shark-related incidents. That someone is the Shark Research Institute. They collect and publish shark encounters in the Global Shark Attack File.
There’s a word for people who are obsessed with gory death: psychopath.
They gravitate towards jobs/roles in which they can indulge their unnatural obsessions: military, game hunter, abattoir slaughterer, serial killer/mass murderer/serial mass murderer … and Shark Research Institute employee.
What’s clear about this data is how unlikely a shark incident is and even more unlikely a shark-related incident is fatal. But look at the information if you are doubtful, you don’t have to believe me. On average, there are six reported fatalities a year worldwide with a few years standing out due to sea disasters.
Who told you that then?
Could it be someone who works at the Shark Research Institute?
Someone who … even if they aren’t an outright psychopath invested in getting you to take unnecessary risks in the hope there’ll be another killing … still has an interest in luring you to places where there are sharks so that there is shark behaviour to observe and record — meaning they get to keep their job? Actually … psychopaths and sociopaths do that as well.
The Shark Research Institute‘s very existence depends upon there being shark data of interest. The only shark data of interest is shark data that has significance for human beings.
What shark data has significance for human beings? Shark data on people getting killed and eaten by sharks … duh!
So, the Shark Research Institute has a vested interest in ensuring a steady rate of (preferably fatal) shark attacks.
So, they’ll tell you that shark attacks are unlikely and, even when they happen, rarely fatal, in order to get you to go where there are sharks.
Where you’ll get fatally attacked.
And, because the attack was fatal, neither you nor anyone else fatally attacked, are in a position to gainsay their claims that attacks are rare and rarely fatal.
It’s like I pointed out about dolphins and how none of the people they drown live to tell the tale, only the ones whom they save — who spread dolphin-positive propaganda about how dolphins are lovely and save people.
They’ve got it all sewn up, the Shark Research Institute. You can’t trust them!
If you think of the global population (and even reduce that number to those actually in the ocean), you realize a fatal shark attack is less than 0.01% risk.
Nice try but no cigar, I’m afraid.
There are lies, damn lies and statistics.
We didn’t fall for it when Douglas Adams tried to gaslight us either.
A 0.01% risk indeed!
Besides which … how many people are there?
7.8 billion.
That’s 780,000 people a year who are attacked by sharks.
That’s a lot of people.
Do I really want to take a chance that I am not one of them?
But which animal is likely to kill you — how about the mosquito? These insects spread malaria, which claims the lives of over 1.32% of the population each year. Bet you rarely run or hide from them.
So … because you probably won’t get run over by a bus today, you play in the middle of the road as a result?
My point is that there are plenty of risks that you take daily with your phone, your car, and even your loved ones, which are much more dangerous and likely to lead to death than a shark attack.
Now who’s trying to scare people?
And don’t think the use of ‘loved ones’ slipped us by either. We know it’s a euphemism for ‘family’.
And we all know how families come about.
Which is dirty — you should be ashamed of yourself!
Mods!
MODS!!!
Where do these events occur most frequently?
In the sea … duh.
Especially in the sea where the so-called Shark Research Institute is encouraging people to go it seems.
Let’s Explore Florida
So, now you want me to get attacked by alligators too!?
I was gonna ask if you have some kind of pecuniary interest in the Shark Research Institute. Or beachfront property, perhaps.
But now I’m beginning to wonder if you aren’t just a psycho!
Less than 2% of those incidents were fatal. Considering the number of people who were in the ocean during the same period — that is an insignificant number.
I’m sure the 16 out of 16.86 people who are killed in Florida alone every year would be pleased to know you consider them insignificant — I’m sure their families will sleep all the more soundly for it as well.
[Sadly, humans kill 100 million sharks each year
Is that all!?
You’re right: that is sad — we need to do something about that!
compared to the six humans sharks claim each year.]
Ha! Sixteen people a year in Florida alone, remember.
Unlike you, the numbers don’t lie.
And you’re not even good at it …
Me: “Did you eat the chocolate cake?”
You: “No.”
197 of the 248 incidents were related to surfing or skiing. None of these incidents were fatal. Most resulted in lacerations or other minor injuries usually to the leg.
Again … nice try, but we’re not stupid, you know — we know how to manipulate numbers.
None of the 197 might’ve been fatal but, what about the remaining 51?
Ha! Caught out again!
Looking at data on a map tells us two things: where events do and do not occur.
And our next contestant on Mastermind is Tricia Aanderud — specialist subject: The bleedin’ obvious.
Both pieces of information are useful.
They are.
The first tells you where to avoid: Florida.
The second, where it is safe to go: Zurich Airport.
If the victims were swimming, keep in mind they were most likely further away from shore.
Pretty much a cast iron certainty, I’d say.
I do all my swimming away from the shore.
I tried it on the beach once, but … like the time I tried swimming next to the pool … it didn’t work out so well: I got a surprisingly painful rash on my knees and thighs from where I tried doing the frog-leg kick when doing the breast stroke … and I almost broke my both my nose and my toes when I tried the crawl! Also, some children pointed and laughed … and some teens said some very rude (and really quite hurtful) things. I’ve stuck to swimming in water since then.
I don’t know … something about this whole article doesn’t ring true: too many anomalies, too many sleights of hand with the data, too many “look over here” distractions.
I think I’ll stick to the shores.
