WHY!?

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Take a look at the featured image above.

That’s a synthesizer.

A VSTi (Virtual Studio Technology instrument), to be precise.

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Notice anything odd about it (apart from the appalling ergonomics, that is ¹ )?

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Here’s another one

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Beginning to see a pattern?

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Here’s one more

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See it now?

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How about now?

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That’s a USB controller keyboard, that is … straddling the divide between the real and virtual worlds.

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Okay … one more … just in case …

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That’s a Moog Subsequent 25 … available from January 2020 … a physical, realworld object to have and hold, caress lovingly, twiddle, tweak and fondle (if that’s your thing).

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Okay, look … I really don’t know how to make the problem I have with them any clearer than this …

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It’s a synthesizer!

It’s f**cking synthetic! ²

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What the F**K, therefore, is up with all the wood!?‎

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Okay, the originals had something going for them … a consistent look and (literally) feel

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… but back when they were first made, wood was cheap … cheaper than metal or plastic … so it made sense to keep the (already astronomical) cost down by finishing them in wood.

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But what went through the head of the person who first decided to finish off their new box full of circuitry and circuits that made sounds that occur naturally nowhere in the Universe, by incongruously slapping a couple of bits of wood (effect plastic) on the ends is beyond me — unless it was a bit of wood (or wood effect plastic), of course.

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The USB one … just why!? The effect doesn’t even look like wood but like a cheap, 1970s/1980s faux wood effect.

And the VST instruments aren’t even that real, they’re just bits and bytes in a computer!

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Seriously … why would you want a ‘wood finish’ on a VSTi!?

‎It doesn’t even look good on a realworld, physical synth, let alone on a computer display.

Why!?

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Words don’t exactly fail me — as you can see, I can think of many: ‘why?’, ‘fugly’, ‘retarded’, to name but three.

But my mind truly does boggle at the cognitive dissonance the human race suffers from.

*sigh*

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¹ A red paintjob to offset the red indicator lights? Seriously?

² The clue’s in the name.

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