The only reason anyone should see those hours is because they haven’t finished the night before!

In fact, the only reason for there even being any hours between 6a.m. and 11p.m. is:

1. afterparties

2. something to keep the parties apart, so that we can get some sleep every four days.

Any other reason is simply unnatural and cause for concern — serial killers are early risers ¹.

—

¹ Probably ².

² The majority of serial killers were fans of Country music and, as everyone knows, the two go hand-in-hand — so, early risers are probably over-represented amongst that population too ³.

³ The suicide rate in Scandinavia goes up in the Summer, when it never gets dark, so there’s clearly a correlation between wanting to kill people (even if only the self) and the hours of daylight ⁴.

⁴ Not many wars have been fought after dark either ⁵.

⁵ There’s definitely a pattern between unnatural behaviour and being up during the day, I’m telling you!