Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)

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I can’t remember what I was thinking about exactly, but it involved chefs being made to bob for apples, with their hands tied behind their backs and people pushing their heads into the water to get the apples.

Anyway … I wonder how else chefs might be abused ¹.

Could we throw a theme party centred around acts of humiliation and abuse perpetrated against chefs specifically? Real chefs … real humiliation and abuse.

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¹ Well, you’re not even allowed to be prejudiced about ginger hair these days, let alone anyone else, and chefs are satisfyingly random a target as to appeal to my urge to be deliberately capricious in my choice of victim ² & ⁶.

² They haven’t done anything to deserve it as such, so they’re the best kind of victim of bigotry ³ & ⁴.

³ Although, having said that, apparently, the last time chefs were so revered by a society it was shortly before the Fall Of Rome, so perhaps they are responsible for it all.

⁴ Or … better yet … just the messengers — let’s shoot them! ⁵

⁵ And Brian. 😉

⁶ Except when it comes to clowns ⁷ … and ‘people’ from Zone 3 ⁹.

⁷ Clowns are evil ⁸.

⁸ Actually, so are chefs — they’re in the top 10 professions favoured by psychopaths/sociopaths.

⁹ They’re inbred cannibals, you know — they eat each other! :