Seduction Suite
In the ’60s and ’70s, if a young stud with neither the courage to be an honest rapist nor access to ‘roofies’ wanted sex, he had to learn interminable amounts of hippy woo about Astrology, Numerology, ‘Chakras’ and all manner of tree-hugging crap ¹.
These days he has to woo ⁴ his ‘victims’ with displays of scientific prowess, like ‘String Theory’, ‘Quantum Entanglement’ and ‘Tesla Coils’ before he gets a woman to spread her legs for him … who couldn’t do it fast enough actually, but needed everyone else to see that she put up a fight by talking to him first ⁵.
I, on the other hand, am a DJ.
Take a ticket, ladies — there are snack and drinks machines in the waiting room … the bathroom is up one flight of stairs.
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¹ The name of some Tibetan monastary from which to claim came the best flour and water … the right timings and temperatures to cook and bake it all at — Chakra, like soufflé, is a sensitive dish, requiring a humble and spiritual cook ².
² Not ‘chef’ ³.
³ Chefs are part of the Patriarchy and oppressors.
⁴ See what I did there? 😉
⁵ Although why she thinks any other woman would believe her protestations of platonic and spiritual intent cynically subverted by an incubus in satyr’s form is beyond me ⁶ and I suspect it’s all simply done pro forma.
⁶ They know the score after all.
