Prescience
A long, long time ago … before many of you were even born … I was a teen.
As I was a teen, I went to school.
One day, my school took part in a day-long inter-schools ‘quiz’ competition.
My group didn’t do very well. Our problem was that we hadn’t done this before and the tactic of hitting the buzzer and then taking the allotted ten seconds to think of the answer didn’t occur to us — so, in our deliberations, we missed the opportunity to answer the question as, time and again, we were beaten to the punch by arrogant chancers who simply took it for granted that they would come up with the goods before the clock ran out and they were penalised for their impetuousness.
Come the last round of the competition, standing around outside the room waiting to be ushered in for our final, resounding, ignominious failure, I randomly asked my teammates how many yards there were in a mile ¹. None of them knew the answer and, when I supplied it, retorted that nobody would ever need to know that, so it was not a question they need concern themselves with. When I asked them what the acronym ‘BASIC’ stood for ², the only reply was (for some reason ³ ) “How do you know that?”
Now, I have had occasion, in the Past, to mention the fact that I am seemingly a conduit for universal truths but, unfortunately, (with a handful of notable exceptions) I’m usually about twenty years ahead of the curve and, as with Nostradamus, nobody has even the least hope of understanding what it is I’m telling them when I describe them
So … when the first question turned out to be “How many yards are there in a mile?” people were understandably a bit taken aback. And when, later, the question arose as to the meaning of the acronym ‘BASIC’, you can see why they might’ve been even more so, but by then they were already long since in a state of shock due to my ability to answer the questions before they had even been asked and it no longer had the impact it would have had earlier in the session.
Naturally, I can’t remember all of them all these years later, but I spent the final quiz answering every question before anyone could even think of reaching for the buzzer, let alone answer the questions.
I answered all but one of the questions and got all those I answered right … all by myself, without any conferring with my teammates … many of them before the questions had even been asked …
Quizmaster: “What is the only bird …”
Me: “The hummingbird.”Quizmaster: “What was the real name of …”
Me: “Samuel Langhorn Clemens.”
How did I know what the questions were going to be before they were asked?
Your guess is as good as mine — the same way I have other insights into how things will be that turn out to be not simply prescient but outright eerily so.
Seriously, I appreciate that I’m not merely God’s gift to womankind
… but to the entire planet (if not universe) ⁴
I mean … in a world populated by you drooling morlocks
… somebody has to do the heavy lifting
But even I’m at a loss to explain how I can know the answer to a question that hasn’t even been asked!
The most recent example was, once again, uncanny … spookily so … the Universe popping the answer into my head before I had even heard the question:
Them: “What’s the collective noun for …”
Me: “C*nts”
Them: “… brexiteers?”
See what I mean?
It’s just unsettling.
Funny … awe inspiring … but disconcerting nevertheless: either I’m unconsciously travelling forward and then back in Time or else there are paranormal forces at work — neither of which possibilities is comforting to a rationalist who (rightly) dismisses all such nonsense as … well … nonsense
—
¹ 1,760, as it happens.
² Beginner’s All Purpose Symbolic Instruction Code.
³ In all likelihood, an entirely unmerited superiority complex on their part.
⁴ Basically, E. Scott, I’m fantastic 😉
