Ooeeoo
Alright, ingrates, here’s your starter for … wha th uck is up wth ths uckng kybord?! or od’s sake! No gd no hop usless ock-suking sn f a btch!!! Srt it ou t you useles pice f crap befor I recnfgur you wth a fcking ax!
…
Sorry about that … technical problems ¹.
They seem to have resolved themselves as mysteriously as they arose now though.
I can’t think why ².
In a fit of frustration, I hit random keys on the keyboard.
Rather hard.
And something (jbxd) … was returned in answer to my query — the world of technology gets weirder by the day.
Anyhow … now that unpleasantness is behind us … where was I?
Ah, yes.
You may recall this post:
If you enjoyed that, you might also find the following entertaining as well:
And now the damn computer is acting up again!
It’s taken me almost two effing hours to get this post out!
<sigh>
Technology in general.
Less generally, computers.
This computer specifically.
Web browsers particularly.
Medium pointedly.
Under the stairs, sobbing inconsolably
… me ⁶.
—
¹ I was having a text conversation with a friend recently when I got a reply from them, saying
You’re breaking up
Your signal jgeofndha £:dieigh)92*{!< 82£=]?,¥djcue
:::
sprcdne8;=]!73hdk+~84…:¥:|::
² Well, I can, but …
If it was the fact that … after threatening my computer with an axe … I left the room and returned with a katana (samurai sword) ³ then that means that it’s watching me and, quite apart from anything else, that means it can see through the masking tape over the webcam ⁴ — which is even more disturbing than the idea that it’s sentient ⁵.
³ It’s probably best not to dwell on why I have one of those.
⁴ Actually, you’d probably be surprised at just what it’s possible to do with technology — there’ve been some pretty alarming developments in surveillance techniques and equipment over the years and if you want to be sure that no-one is able to read your computer screen from 200 metres away … erm … well, I was going to suggest not sitting near any reflective surfaces (like cutlery for instance), taking off your glasses and closing your eyes, but actually you can’t even sit in the dark because the decay/dispersal of photons can be used to calculate the missing information (i.e. all of it).
⁵ If it’s sentient, I can simply kill it and get a new computer … whereas, if it can see through masking tape, so might the replacement!
⁶ Just as soon as I can get the miserable thing to update that is — it’s even preventing me from having a nervous breakdown any time soon!
