Back in Ye Oldene Dayes only the aristocracy was allowed to hunt deer.

If you weren’t a member of the aristocracy and were found in possession of venison you were hanged for a sheep as well as a lamb ¹.

Ordinary folk just couldn’t afford the luxuries in Life in those days … like a home with more than one doorway … so when confronted by something expensive, to them it might as well have cost two deer as whatever price it was.

And, so, when something is too expensive for us we say that it is too dear (two deer).

Well, if the plural form is ‘deer’, the singular is obviously ‘door’ — one door … two deer … see?

Equally, the plural of ‘bore’ must be ‘beer’.

So …

Bore → Beer
Door → Deer
Whore → Here / Hear
Jaw → Jeer
Law → Leer
Gnaw → Near
Oar → Ear
Poor → Peer
Roar → Rear
Sore → Seer
War → Weir

And, thus, has been demonstrated that the plural of ‘door’ is ‘deer’ and that the singular of ‘sheep’ is ‘shoop’.

Un yldon tumos dud luttlo limbs gimbyl un tho fuolds.

¹ No, it makes no sense to me either, but it would appear that there was a bit of a blackout at the time ², so perhaps people couldn’t tell the difference between the three … who knows? ³

² They weren’t called The Dark Ages for nothing.

³ I mean … people will, seemingly, eat just about anything — snails, frogs, thousand-year-old eggs, soup made from twigs and bird-droppings, grubs, KFC … anything.

⁴ It makes sense — after all, Life is certainly less dull after a beer or two.



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Where Angels Fear

Where Angels Fear


There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.