Movie Review
So, that’s why I couldn’t remember if I’d ever seen Alien Resurrection or not!
It’s crap.
I mean, it took me something like thirteen years to get around to watching Star Wars: The Phantom Menace … no, wait, I saw that one when it was new … and the next one … they’re both the reason I didn’t bother to watch the sixth one … what was it? … return of the something … Return Of The Sith … oh … no … it wasn’t, it was Revenge Of The Sith … (I had to look it up, that’s how memorable it was) … and I think I got to almost the end … he was rolling around in some lava in a cave or something … I don’t know, I wasn’t really watching it (I’d lost interest in it hours before that and was reading my RSS feeds, or something, on my phone) … before I realised that I’d already seen it (although I couldn’t say when, years before presumably).
Whereas I’m still not sure if I’d ever seen Alien Resurrection before. I assume so, because I own it after all … and the underwater scenes looked like they might be kinda familiar … but I could just be misremembering Cocoon. Or do I mean that other movie with the underwater CGI that comes ‘out of’ the water in 3D? Was there another movie that did that? Did it even happen in Cocoon? The Abyss … that was it! Another eminently forgettable film (well, I’d forgotten it, hadn’t I?) … which was, if I recall correctly, as unprepossessing as that other one (set in Space) — people raved about the CGI … flames in space and ‘oil’ … but they were shit … the whole thing was pretty crap … and I was only persuaded to watch it on the grounds that Orbital did the soundtrack/score … ummm … Event Horizon, that was it … yeah, that was pretty shit too.
There comes a point in Life, after which everything reminds you of something else.
Some time after that, you’ve heard/seen so much more that you can’t remember what it was it reminded you of because the new stuff reminds you of the other stuff that reminded you of something else in the first place.
You can hear, in your head, the three notes the one note reminds you of but can’t, for the life of you, remember how it goes after that because something else keeps trying to be it instead — and no amount of fast-forwarding in your head helps.
Or you can hear the voice and the words but can’t recall if they were from a movie you watched or samples in a track you used to listen to a lot.
[Ooh … that reminds me: the first Renaissance mix CD set and the Creme De La Creme compilations; I haven’t heard those in years! I wonder if they’re on YouTube ¹]
Anyway, then it transpires it wasn’t that either (whatever it might’ve been, if only you could remember) but something else altogether.
So, it’s probably not surprising that I don’t remember seeing a crap movie or ten. Around 2013, I watched so much stuff (up to six movies and/or maybe three seasons of three different TV shows, every evening) that, the very next day, when looking at the list of what was available, I couldn’t remember which movies I’d watched. A lot of them were crap though. Like what was that one with the women in leather and bondage gear and stuff? … Sort of martial arts … I read something about it only two days ago and thought “Oh, right, that’s what it was called” … Ummm … no, not Sin City, stop it, that one was good … Dammit, I’mma have to look it up now … What!? … Most Popular Child Nudity, Prostitution Movies and TV Shows!? … Holy crap! … Anyway, moving on … no, not (overhyped rubbish) Kill Bill, for goodness sake … aaaaahuuuummmm … something to do with prostitutes … could it have been Sucker Punch? Or am I thinking of Barb Wire? *sigh* I think I might’ve seen that.
Whatever … I’ve definitely seen it now.
It’s crap ².
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¹ Well, well, well …
I’m not gonna link to it, because Medium will snitch on me to YouTube and it’ll get taken down, but, let’s just say that, if you were to do a search on “:: SASHA & JOHN DIGWEED :: RENAISSANCE :: The Mix Collection :: (FULL 3 MIXES 3hr 40m) :: (1994)” then you might find it. I recommend you buy it though (it’s a timeless classic … great for chilling out to on a Sunday afternoon/evening, when you finally crawl back home after going out Thursday night … and you owe it to yourself to listen to it at the best quality possible) — 1:15:00 (CD02/Track01) is where the groove starts to kick in, if you’re still up for a bit of a bounce/sway before finally saying goodnight to the weekend and turning into the end credits from the clubbing episode (e06), Epiphanies, of Spaced (s01).
Sadly, I can’t find La Creme De La Creme — The Cream Of Underground House — A Retrospective Mix 1993–1996 (Arctic, KOLDCD013) or La Creme De La Creme. Part Deux — The Cream Of Underground House — A Retrospective Mix 1993–1996 (Arctic, KOLDCD015) though… which is a shame, because they were even better.
² Sure, the last shot is cute, but I might as well just watch Delicatessen in that case — there are more such shots … and they’re better too.
