But we can’t afford you I imagine!

Let’s say that, under the right circumstances ¹, for a friend, I might be persuaded to waive my fee and do it for expenses and a sofa to crash on 😉

But, whilst I could provide the decks and mixer (although I’d rather not), the venue and sound system would have to be your responsibility.

How big a group of friends would we be talking about? What size venue would be required? A good sound system that will fill the room won’t require a mortgage but, depending on the space, won’t be stupidly cheap either — it needn’t be a full Funktion One or (better yet) Opus rig, but your mate’s home stereo/hifi setup ain’t gonna cut it, I’m afraid … you need something with a fair amount of oomph ².

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¹ Provided my OLP here and my IRL identity remained disconnected.

² Depending upon various factors, you’re looking in the ballpark of £170+VAT to £1,500+VAT for an Opus rig, including mixer, amp and cables — but to that you need to add the cost of an engineer to set it up properly and any transportation costs incurred.