Know you limits

I’m not musclebound, but I‘m not a 7 stone weakling either — I won’t blow away in the wind and what I lack in bulk I made up for in speed, agility and a genuine intent to turn the least altercation into a visit to the hospital (if not the morgue) for one of us (I really didn’t care who).

But, if you’re not at least my size then, yeah, you might have to take a different approach.

You can act crazy in different ways though — you know you have no intention of running them down with your car … but that isn’t the impression they get when you mutter ominously about how easy it is to lose control of a vehicle on their street (especially when it’s dark) 😉

I can’t say that I recommend being that way though.

It was a very dark … extraordinarily unhappy … time in my life to which I would not wish to return, even if I do occasionally miss the adrenaline rush.

It can be amusing … and, just occasionally, useful … to be able to draw on the knowledge of what it feels like to be that way — either for the purpose of writing ‘in character’ … or, in extremis, ensuring I don’t end up on the wrong side of an altercation I’d rather not have.

But, it’s not good for your health (psychologically or physically) … and it makes it impossible to ever relax: you’re always watching people, calculating how you’d put them down, eyeing up exits, watching your back — you even pick the clothes you wear based upon their offensive and defensive properties.

Your entire life consists of contemplating and calculating acts of extreme violence … it doesn’t leave a lot of room for breathing easy and being lighthearted.