Just when you thought it couldn’t get any cheesier
… foot fetishism rears its ugly ‘head’.
Okay, so, I know I’m out of touch with mainstream culture down here in the ‘Underground’, as I believe people refer to it these days, but somewhere along the line … a long time ago … I must’ve been in a coma and missed all the fuss about foot fetishism.
It seems to have been such a significant cultural event that I cannot imagine how I missed it otherwise — it’s everywhere I look and there are more musical endeavours by people mentioning ‘feat’ than I could probably listen to in my lifetime.
What’s it all about?
But wait, I’m not finished with you yet.
That was just to leave your head swimming with the kind of non sequitur that makes me eat lampshades … to soften you up for the knockout blow.
You see, I’ve been exposed to a lot more in my life than would be good for anyone. I have, to coin a phrase, “been to the dark side and back! I have seen a world that no man should see!”
(And that was just the making of the gay foot fetish porn).
But now, for your delectation … and in the hope that, afterwards, we might form a survivors’ club and I won’t feel so hopelessly alone any more …
Roy.
Orbison.
Wrapped.
In.
Clingfilm.
This needs more terrapin …
As you can see, I’ve led a disturbing life and am now quite disturbed myself.
But now you’re here and we’ll be such good friends, I just know it, and …
Wait!
Where are you going!?!
You can’t leave me!
Not like this!
Not on my own!
Please!
Come back!
Don’t leave me!
Not with Roy!
