If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out By Now
Actual Country/Western Songs
To which I’d just like to add Everybody’s Gay Except For Me And My Pa (and I’m not too sure about my pa)
Discussing this with a friend resulted in her throwing out some lines about things down on the farm being tense, her father suspecting her mother and friend of being lesbians and kicking her out of their trailer …
To which I replied:
So, let me get this straight …
My ma’s been livin’ a lie all her life
My pa done kicked her out
Now she don’t come around no more
And I come from a broken homeMan … and I thought “Pa’s been cornholin’ me somethin’ rough” was bad!
Speaking of funny song lyrics …
I’ve always heard Bananarama sing “I’m your penis.”
And I suspect you will too from now on ; D
But … my inability to pay proper attention to utterly inconsequential p̶a̶p̶ pop songs aside …
Kiss This Guy (The Archive Of Misheard Lyrics) has always been a good source of amusement — it seems I’m not the only one with concerns about just what Bananarama’s Freudian Slip was all about either.
It’s probably best to draw a discreet veil over precisely what some people thought The Clash were doing to that poor cat though.
Go on … click on the Misheard Lyrics link … then Archive By Song… then R … then Rock The Casbah.
I dare you 😉
[Hint: If you’re unsure what I mean, do an in-page search on “bum”] ¹
However …
“I need porn
… your fingers and penis-tip.”
Whatever the makers of this show … and, seemingly, the puppets … are on …
I want some!
And if you thought The Wiggles were disturbing … they are, by the way … then this next item should be right up your alley (so to speak).
If you were ever inclined to look at The Teletubbies and think to yourself “You know … there’s something inappropriately sensual … if not disturbingly sexual … about the way they rub their bellies” … then you’ll understand what follows without the need for any explanation.
Oh, come now … you’re not seriously going to try and protest your innocence, are you?
You’re surely not going to try and convince anyone that you really believed this was going to be a harmless post about funny and misheard song lyrics.
On my profile?
Sure.
I’ll do it tomorrow.
The cheque’s in the post.
I won’t cum in your mouth.
Honest!
—
¹ For you heathen colonials …
(British) English “bum” = American (English) “fanny”
(British) English “fanny” = something that it would be inappropriate to discuss in mixed company.
