I Just Soiled Myself
Okay, I didn’t really.
But I did have a nasty choking-to-death fit thanks to having laughed so hard, for so long, so frequently that my nose backed up and I breathed in at an inopportune moment — which, given that I was already in danger of asphyxiating due to not being able to breathe, I was laughing so uproariously, seems a trifle unfair of Life really.
But, really, the guardianistas are on form at the moment; that’s two articles I’ve read today that have made me all but wet myself laughing ¹ and I’ve just started a third and I’m already amused by a comment chain ² that included the gem “I hate doctors; one of them sadists put a tube in my poop hole.” — I am less amused to see someone talking about “When I rule the World”, but that’s a different matter ⁴.
The paper itself isn’t that bad, provided you’re aware of its biases and view things through the anti-distortion filter of that knowledge, but I’ll read a great number of Guardian opinion pieces … on pretty much any topic except sport … just so I know what the commentariat is talking about, because you get some seriously well-written and well-argued stuff from people in the comments — yes, even about baby gender reveal parties and the Royals.
For example …
“Tiresome rubbish. Republic now.”
(Ouch!)
“Thank the lord, I've found the old rope I was looking for.”
(Meta ouch!)
“On this incredibly important debate I am coming in on the side of team Kate. Meghan is too skinny for my tastes. I’m glad I got that off my chest.”
(Now that’s just a harsh! 😀)
Right, that’s your lot … I’ve got some serious laughter to get back to.
—
¹ The first, of course, having been this one.
² On an article about the increased number of non-EU doctors being allowed into the UK, now that it has managed to get a grip on the levels of immigration by leaving the EU ³ — you could make this shit up but any publisher with more than one brain cell would send you a rejection letter on the basis that it would be kinder to kill your ambition now than to let the critics kill your self-esteem later (and the publisher’s reputation).
³ Meaning fewer EU medical staff and, therefore, more opportunities for homegrown, British, medical staff to take their places.
⁴ Note to self: upon being appointed Dictator Of The Universe In Perpetuity, get rid of this upstart immediately — you don’t need a Perkin Warbeck throwing a spanner in the works.
