I Aten’t Ded

That’s [0] all you [1] need to know … I [4] have time for… and [0] more than you’re [5] worth.

Aura Wilming (oh, some random fu*cking footnote! [1,000,000]) gets a mention here because … well, just because really but, if she needs an excuse, it’s because she still hasn’t replied to something I wrote .. and really should have by now [10] — it’s been so long now that even I can’t remember what it was .. but that’s hardly the point, is it?

So … just to labour the (shameful) point … Aura Wilming.

And E. Scott Alighieri [6]— although that latter isn’t shameful as such.

Do you know what … … I think this is the most footnotes I’ve ever written [1,000,000,000] … I blame Aura Wilming myself [10,000,000]!

If you’re as confused as I am by this stage in the proceedings then your only hope is Arona— seriously … even I’m utterly lost now .. and he [7] has definitely picked up the footnote mantel, so he [7] might be able to unravel it all for you but I’ve had enough now — it’s [0].

P.S. So far at least, Stephen M. Tomic has been pleasant company — but that’s probably only because he hasn’t worn out his welcome yet … so you probably shouldn’t make too much of it and probably shouldn’t go out of your way to read his stuff.

PPS. The same could probably … AND PROBABLY SHOULD … be said of Oliver “Shiny” Blakemore.

PPPS. As for Robert Cormack … yes, I have some shameful secrets but so do you [1], so you’re not in a position to criticise, alright!

PPPPS I’m going to draw a discreet veil over Koen Smets — it’s for the best really ... it’s altogether too serious and meaningful for anybody reading my nonsense!

PPPPPS Arona Jones and Oliver “Shiny” Blakemore … because I ran out of tags.

PPPPPPS If you’re confused by the image I chose for this post … just be grateful I didn’t select any of the other images that turned up without ‘Safe Search’ set to ‘Strict’ — seriously … the mind boggles [10.000,000,000]!

Right … that’s it … I’ve lost the plot and I’m out of here — there are many good reasons for that but, although I am at liberty to say why, it’s probably best if I don’t — not least because I like spending my days not in prison.

[1] Yes … you [2].

[2] That latter remark is specifically for the benefit of E. Scott Alighieri [6]

[4] Yes … me.

[5] [1] but not [2], [6].

[6] Yes … him [2] [7].

[7] Well … I say ‘him’ [8].

[8] But she might be lying [9].

[9] [6].

[10] By now it must be embarrassing even for her that she hasn’t, never mind for me [11].

[11] I can keep this up for as long as it amuses me [12], so it really doesn’t matter if she never replies — I might feel a slight twinge of “oops” if it turns out that she’s dead, but it won’t last long [13].

[12] Not long, I grant you … but, every once in a while I like to remember to cause her a modicum of discomfort at least [14].

[13] The Samaritans have a longer a attention span than I do.

[14] A bit a like a long forgotten stalker she thought had forgotten about her ; D

[1,000,000] I’ve lost c*unt! [1,000,001]

[1,000,001] That one was for you, Aura [1] [1,000,002] but not [2].

[1,000,002] I know how you hate unnecessary sanitisation ; )

[10,000,000] Not that I’m labouring the point or anything [10,000,0001].

[10,000,001] I mean … it’s not like I feel slighted by the lack of contact or anything [10,000,002].

[10,000,002] It’s not as if it’s like the time I found myself on a date with her mother, in the graveyard, and obliged to exclaim “For fuck’s sake, woman, you could put a bit of effort into it — it’s like fucking a corpse!” [10,000,003].

[10,000,003] Or anything like that [10,000,0004].

[10,000,0004] If you’re new here, let this be a warning to you: I do, occasionally, say things that even I [4] find unnecessarily distasteful [10,000,0005], [10,000,0006]

[10,000,0005] Like “For fuck’s sake, woman, you could put a bit of effort into it — it’s like fucking a corpse!

[10,000,0006] Often to emphasise a serious point but equally often to see how much I can get away with before people actively try to lynch me.

[1,000,000,000] No, I have no idea what happened to [3] either but, ̶A̶u̶r̶a̶ ̶W̶i̶l̶m̶i̶n̶g̶

[10.000,000,000] Seriously … even my cock is bigger than that [10, 000,000,000,001]!

[10, 000,000,000,000] Actually, my cock is HUGE [10, 000,000,000,001]

[10, 000,000,000,001] But that’s an altogether different thread ; D

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Where Angels Fear

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.