I Aten’t Ded
That’s [0] all you [1] need to know … I [4] have time for… and [0] more than you’re [5] worth.
Aura Wilming (oh, some random fu*cking footnote! [1,000,000]) gets a mention here because … well, just because really but, if she needs an excuse, it’s because she still hasn’t replied to something I wrote here .. and really should have by now [10] — it’s been so long now that even I can’t remember what it was .. but that’s hardly the point, is it?
So … just to labour the (shameful) point … Aura Wilming.
And E. Scott Alighieri [6]— although that latter isn’t shameful as such.
Do you know what … I think I’ve finally surpassed myself … I think this is the most footnotes I’ve ever written [1,000,000,000] … I blame Aura Wilming myself [10,000,000]!
If you’re as confused as I am by this stage in the proceedings then your only hope is Arona— seriously … even I’m utterly lost now .. and he [7] has definitely picked up the footnote mantel, so he [7] might be able to unravel it all for you but I’ve had enough now — it’s [0].
…
P.S. So far at least, Stephen M. Tomic has been pleasant company — but that’s probably only because he hasn’t worn out his welcome yet … so you probably shouldn’t make too much of it and probably shouldn’t go out of your way to read his stuff.
PPS. The same could probably … AND PROBABLY SHOULD … be said of Oliver “Shiny” Blakemore.
PPPS. As for Robert Cormack … yes, I have some shameful secrets but so do you [1], so you’re not in a position to criticise, alright!
PPPPS I’m going to draw a discreet veil over Koen Smets — it’s for the best really ... it’s altogether too serious and meaningful for anybody reading my nonsense!
PPPPPS Arona Jones and Oliver “Shiny” Blakemore … because I ran out of tags.
PPPPPPS If you’re confused by the image I chose for this post … just be grateful I didn’t select any of the other images that turned up without ‘Safe Search’ set to ‘Strict’ — seriously … the mind boggles [10.000,000,000]!
…
Right … that’s it … I’ve lost the plot and I’m out of here — there are many good reasons for that but, although I am at liberty to say why, it’s probably best if I don’t — not least because I like spending my days not in prison.
—
[1] Yes … you [2].
[2] That latter remark is specifically for the benefit of E. Scott Alighieri [6]
[4] Yes … me.
[5] [1] but not [2], [6].
[6] Yes … him [2] [7].
[7] Well … I say ‘him’ [8].
[8] But she might be lying [9].
[9] [6].
[10] By now it must be embarrassing even for her that she hasn’t, never mind for me [11].
[11] I can keep this up for as long as it amuses me [12], so it really doesn’t matter if she never replies — I might feel a slight twinge of “oops” if it turns out that she’s dead, but it won’t last long [13].
[12] Not long, I grant you … but, every once in a while I like to remember to cause her a modicum of discomfort at least [14].
[13] The Samaritans have a longer a attention span than I do.
[14] A bit a like a long forgotten stalker she thought had forgotten about her ; D
[1,000,000] I’ve lost c*unt! [1,000,001]
[1,000,001] That one was for you, Aura [1] [1,000,002] but not [2].
[1,000,002] I know how you hate unnecessary sanitisation ; )
[10,000,000] Not that I’m labouring the point or anything [10,000,0001].
[10,000,001] I mean … it’s not like I feel slighted by the lack of contact or anything [10,000,002].
[10,000,002] It’s not as if it’s like the time I found myself on a date with her mother, in the graveyard, and obliged to exclaim “For fuck’s sake, woman, you could put a bit of effort into it — it’s like fucking a corpse!” [10,000,003].
[10,000,003] Or anything like that [10,000,0004].
[10,000,0004] If you’re new here, let this be a warning to you: I do, occasionally, say things that even I [4] find unnecessarily distasteful [10,000,0005], [10,000,0006]
[10,000,0005] Like “For fuck’s sake, woman, you could put a bit of effort into it — it’s like fucking a corpse!”
[10,000,0006] Often to emphasise a serious point but equally often to see how much I can get away with before people actively try to lynch me.
[1,000,000,000] No, I have no idea what happened to [3] either but, oh, look … ̶A̶u̶r̶a̶ ̶W̶i̶l̶m̶i̶n̶g̶ … a squirrel!
[10.000,000,000] Seriously … even my cock is bigger than that [10, 000,000,000,001]!
[10, 000,000,000,000] Actually, my cock is HUGE [10, 000,000,000,001]
[10, 000,000,000,001] But that’s an altogether different thread ; D
