Now when have I ever been not gentle with you? I have been nothing but a pure delight in all our conversations, sir.

Have you ever heard of Angel Delight?

It’s a whipped dessert.

I rest my case.

Did you know appreciation for bitter flavors is a thing people are born with?

I did … although I had understood that it was something that one either could or could not taste at all rather than something one learns not to appreciate — like cats being unable to taste sweet things.

While one can get used to sweet, sour and salty pallets, bitter is something you either do or do not like without change.

I don’t know if I do.

I certainly like sour … almost as much as I like the pix and videos of babies eating lemons for the first time — I swear I’m a latent sadist.

But I couldn’t say for sure about bitter — I hate Campari, if that helps.

Personally, I enjoy a good amount of bitter. I like things like strong coffee, dark chocolate, raw endive and grapefruits.

No-one likes coffee … it tastes disgusting … and the only reason we drink it is because it’s faster acting than tea or amphetamines.

I like dark chocolate and grapefruit though.

I must like bitter then.

Although … having said that … I’m not sure if I like the taste of grapefruit so much as I enjoy the pain it causes — I swear I’m a latent masochist.

That’s why I find “pear necklaces” and “facials” a waste.

I’m going to draw a discreet veil over why I’d much rather not engage in the activities leading to such ‘gifts.’

Suffice to say, I can think of a much better way to show my appreciation of her.

Not a lot of people would categorize diaper play, age play, and water-sports in Bondage Dominance Sado-Masochism and even then, it is a very broad umbrella term.

Now, I know I got most severely corrected about my misuse of the term [1].

The ‘S’ and ‘M’ did not stand for ‘Sadomasochism’ or even ‘Sadism’ and ‘Masochism’ but ‘Subordination’ and ‘<something>’ — ‘Bondage, Domination, Subordination and <something>’, see.

You can protest all you like, you’ve already admitted you like the D.

I have?

When did I do that then?

Granted it’s a narrow aspect you are into but into it you are.

Oh, yes?

And what aspect is that then?

I’m intrigued now.

I know it’s a shocking concept, but not everything that entertains me is sexual.

You may be a bit unready for this … so, I suggest you sit down before reading any further.

Are you siting comfortably?

Then I’ll begin — hold on to your hat there.

Rape is not a sexual act but one of domination.

Voyeurism is not a sexual act either … no more so than is gossip.

There are plenty of voyeurs who do not get a sexual thrill from their degenerate activites — I think they’re dead from the neck down, basically … which is why they like burlesque shows and such.

Those videos were (on YouTube, so it’s completely family friendly)

The last time I checked (today), Youtube had not only never been family friendly but was rapidly degenerating into the kind of place it is no longer safe to watch kids’ cartoons — even as an adult you’ll be in need of therapy to treat the PTSD.

just simple amazement at the stupidity of some people, and the lengths they will go to get attention.

The Darwin Awards are a source of morbid fascination, aren’t they?

For all that work, I don’t feel bad giving them some of my attention.

Yes, that’s right … you feel morally bound to give the nudies a glance — they’re somebody’s sons and daughters, after all.

[1] You know … now I come to see it written down that way, I wonder if the promoter of Torture Garden wasn’t trying it on with me [2].

[2] At least until the point when she enquired about my fetish(es) anyway — she didn’t seem too enthusiastic any more when I explained that my fantasy was to walk in in my leather duster, whip out two sawn-off shotguns and blow everyone away … paint the floor with rivulets of red … conduct a symphony of the groans of the dying [3].

[3] She suddenly had a pressing need to be elsewhere at that point — I never found out why.

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.

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