Gun Battle Of The Day

Me [speaking of myself in the third person]:

“He is, of course, less than happy that his car has been stolen.

And, naturally, despite being relieved that the shooting appears to have stopped, still somewhat apprehensive about the people still hanging about around the back of the house where it has been happening — maybe it ain't over yet and there's still time to catch a stray bullet?”

Them: “Time to move?”

Me: “What!? ... I'd be a fool to do that — it took forever to find somewhere decent to live in this area!

It's a fantastic flat and a great location — what's a minor mass shooting now and again?

Of course, it may not have been such a clever idea to stand at the floor-to-ceiling windows and watch, but ... despite all the horror stories I've heard from people who've never actually been here, never mind lived here ... it's the first gun battle I've witnessed in all my years in this neck of the woods — so, I didn't wanna miss out.

Anyway, the Police have turned up now and cordoned it all off — ho hum ... so, much for excitement, eh?”

It later transpired that a certain amount of subsequent excitement stemmed from the fact that the armed Police cordoning off the area were unaware that the original disturbance had been caused by another armed response unit … and it very nearly became a three way shootout, with the Police shooting both each other and the bad guys.

That didn’t happen in the end though ¹.

Shame in a way … that would’ve been a hilarious cock-up — one for the Book Of Heroic Failures.

—
¹ And people ² say South London is violent.

² People who, as already mentioned, have never even been here and have no idea what they’re talking about but just repeat the myths they’ve heard from others who’ve never set foot here.