The youth of yesteryear differentiated itself from its unhip, uncool elders by deeming good things ‘bad.’

A games-console generation later they were ‘ill.’

Now they’re ‘sick.’

What’ll they be next … ‘incurable’?



‘In the morgue’?

‘Six feet under’?

You should see this, dude — it’s worm-food!

Answers o̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶p̶o̶s̶t̶c̶a̶r̶d̶ in a tweet, please.

Anyhow …

I think I’m part of what’s referred to as ‘Generation X’ — or was that a book by Douglas Coupland?


I don’t really care.

I don’t know anyone of my generation who cares.

I’ve never heard of anyone of my generation caring.

I don’t recall Baby Boomers caring that they were ‘Baby Boomers’ — about how much money they had made since purchasing their home in 1831 (or whenever it was), yes … but not about being ‘Baby Boomers.’

Nor can I recall Generation Y being at all inclined to make a point of it. In fact I’m not even sure they know they’re Generation ‘Y’ — they seem a trifle uneducated to be honest … not very clued in about anything other than how many ‘likes’ their duckface got this morning.

Ah … hang on … that’ll be because they’re millennials.

That explains everything now.

Okay, so … bemoaning the terrible state of the World and the youth of today will never go out of fashion — humans will stop wearing black before they do that.

But …

I’ve been using the Internet since 1990.

That’s … what … [takes socks off] … erm … going on for thirty years now.

In that time I’ve seen a lot.

And I do mean a lot.

Well, you don’t get to be as psychologically disturbed as me without having been a round a few blocks in some seriously dodgy parts of various towns and cities, let me tell you.

“I have been to the dark side and back! I have seen a world that no man should see!” — John Malkovich, as John Malkovich, in ‘Being John Malkovich’ [1]

And in all that time, I have never seen so many people make such a point of being a member of their generation as do, seemingly, millennials.

In fact I can’t remember ever seeing anyone else talk about being part of ‘Generation <whatever>’.

Not in thirty years of clinically chronic Internet abuse [4].

Now, obviously, the self-selecting crowd on Medium and other not too dissimilar sites are not necessarily representative of an entire generation.

Except that they are.

Because they’re the first generation I’ve seen do it in thirty years and, believe me, it’s not that they’re the first generation to discover the Internet — usenet, and similar sites will soon disabuse you of that illusion if you’re labouring under it in any way.

I keep seeing article after post after tweet about we/us millennials.

What’s up with that?

Don’t they have any kind of personal identity of their own?

I can understand people gravitating to gangs and tribes … bloods, crips, goths, bikers, hippies (brrrrrrrrrr …), whatever — it’s what we as a species do … and I’d be the first to admit that the person who called me a ‘blatant raver’ was bang on the money, it’s a fair cop, guv’.

Even nations, up to a point — I don’t do it myself [5], but I understand that a lot of people do.

But an entire generation?

An entire generation feels that homogenous … that identikit … that the only distinguishing feature they can think of to say anything about is that they were born between circa 1980 and circa 2000?

An entire generation feels it has to make the point that it is a member of its generation before saying anything? [6]

Well … speaking as a member of the original Rave generation … I think that’s completely and utterly irrelevant and has no bearing whatsoever upon whatever they are saying unless it actually relates to a generational issue — which 90% of what they seem to want to make a generational issue isn’t.

Seriously, snowflake … grow some!

Stand on your own two feet and speak for yourself … don’t hide behind some Midwich Cuckoo hive mentality.

I don’t believe in Nationalism. I despise Patriotism.

I’m against them— they’re the last bastion of the coward … the last resort of the scoundrel.

I’m me … that’s it.

I don’t need anything to hide behind, let alone a bit of cloth … I don’t need anyone’s permission … I don’t need any excuses — I’ll take on any, and all, in my own name thanks … I don’t need yours or anyone else’s … I don’t care if any of you stand alongside me or not.

I pledge allegiance to the planet and decent human beings everywhere.

The rest of you can get fucked — and take your poxy flags with you!!!

So …

As someone-who-doesn’t-give-a-fuck …

Either say something worth listening to in its own right … or shut up.

Because, if you don’t need your nappies/diapers changing, your age has got nothing to do with it.

And neither has that of the girl at the back of the glass who got more likes for her breakfast shot than there are people on the face of the planet.

</grumpy old man mode>



This one managed to get in both ‘millennial’ … although, really, it’s about being young (if even that) … and introversion … even though that has absolutely nothing to do with anything else in the article.

That’s just … WOW!

[1] If you’ve got an hour or so to spare … have an attention-span longer than that of a goldfish [2] … and do not value your sanity one iota, you could do worse than to watch it.

[2] You [3] might as well stop reading here.

[3] Yes … you.

[4] I haven’t done it here, on Medium, but … you do recall that I did mention, on multiple occasions now, that I was in the habit of provoking people, flame wars, death threats against myself, actual stand-up fights in the street with skinheads, right? Trust me, I’ve abused both it and myself — my doctor informs me that, psychologically speaking, I’ve got the wrists of a ninety-year-old.

[5] I’m an equal opportunities misanthropist and don’t favour any group more or less than any other — I hate you all …

[6] I even saw one self-proclaimed … apparently well-known … such individual remark in interview “Well, I’m a Millennial — we don’t like being labelled.”


I mean … what!?!



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