In recent years, I have not altogether infrequently been heard to bemoan the fact that real life is not like videogames.


I select the game I want to play, press ‘OK’ and wait for it to start¹.

I reflexively twitch the ‘Start’ button.

Nothing happens.

I press it again.

Nothing happens.

A dialogue pops up, inviting me to insert the game disk.


I’ve installed the damn thing … why, oh, why, do I have to insert the disk!? AAAAAAAAARGH!!!

I get up.

I get the game disk box.

I open the game disk box.

I extract the game disk.

I press the eject-button on the console.

I place the disk in the tray.

I sit back down again.

I wait for the dialogue to go away.

It doesn’t go away.

I wait.

It doesn’t go away.

*siii … iii … iiigh*

I get up again.

I walk over to the console.

I press the button to close the tray.

It’s not like this in videogames, you know.

In videogames, when you want to insert a disk into something, you don’t have to press a button to open the tray, then put the disk in, then press a button to close the tray. You just put the f**king disk in and then it just f**king happens, with none of this f**king opening-the-game-box_getting-the-disk-out_opening-the-tray_putting-the-disk-in_closing-the-tray_sitting-down-again bollox … It. Just. F**cking. HAPPENS!!!


I don’t know … sometimes, the futility of it all really is nearly enough to drive me to a nihilistic suicide born of the mind-numbing, spirit-crushing, soul-sapping tedium of Life.

No doubt Aura will use this as inspiration for some character or other at some time … penning some insightfully drawn individual at the expense of my real life misery.

You know …. just to add insult to injury …

[ I showed the above post to someone recently and, to my very great amazement, they didn’t laugh — some people take Life altogether too seriously! ]

Anyway … I’m not the only person to have noticed this phenomenon — I just have higher standards and, therefore, deeper disappointments.

¹ A miserable experience that is, just possibly, even more frustrating than the whole twitch-thumbstick_press-button_press-button_press-button_press-button_oh-FFS-hurry-up-you-piece-of-sh*t-that’s-1.25-seconds-of-my-life-I-won’t-get-back-waiting-for-you-to-respond-to-something-that-should-have-taken-no-more-than-0.333-seconds-at-the-very-most--AAAAAAAAARGH!!!



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Where Angels Fear

Where Angels Fear


There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.