How did miss this!?

It has cowboys … and dinosaurs … and laser guns!

Now normally, all three of those bore me rigid ¹ but put them together and what you have is just so ridiculously silly it’s genius!

All it’s missing is zombies — again, zombies normally bore me rigid, but in this context I can see them working.

All of a sudden, I’m six-and-a-half years old again 😀

And even girls can play this .

I would normally say something along the lines of “But, if you’re a girl, please don’t” … but some of my female friends might read this and beat me up afterwards — are all women violent or just the ones I know?

"You gotta realize, I'm in possession of a car that gets about 700 klicks to a tank, and I got enough money in my acorn for 5 tanks. So I can realistically drive to your house and punch you in the face so long as you're 2000 or less klicks away from my front door. Do you still want to make a rape joke?" ⁶

At the very least, they’ll give me an earful and/or shake their heads at me in withering scorn ⁸.

I’m not sure which is worse actually — I mean … the physical violence is painful but it’s over quickly, whereas the withering scorn, well … they do drag it out .

Actually … now I come to think about it … maybe the scorn isn’t so bad after all; my aunt gives you a vicious dead arm.

I’m not kidding … it really hurts — and you don’t notice it when she does it … it’s a feather-lite brush against your arm … and then … about two minutes later … it feels like your arm has just zipped itself up in its trouser-fly ¹¹ 😢

Yeah … upon reflection, I think I’ll keep my mouth shut about it and simply mention that it appears to be a game for children of all ages and genders that you might want to think about giving a try.

It has cowboys … and dinosaurs … and laser guns!

Oh … and it’s free too.


¹ I might make an exception for the lasers provided I don’t have to sit through any nonsense involving hokey religions and ancient weapons and as long as they aren’t lame like the lasers in Fallout … or almost all games actually.

Really, there’s no point in using most of them; they do next to no damage, run out of ammo really quickly and you can never find any for them when they do.

What you want are the Pop Rockets from ID Games’ Rage — they are sick (in both senses of the word ²) … turning your target into a cloud of red mist … with added splurge ³ … before your very eyes.

In fact, now I’ve thought of that, I feel a spot of retrogaming coming on.

² So … the best of both worlds 😀

³ It’s all very tasteful.

⁵ It’s not fair … they know I won’t hit them back and they take advantage of that fact.

⁶ I have the very great fortune to count some truly amazing women amongst my friends.

⁷ On and on and on they'll go.
On and on and on and on …
And on.

⁸ Girls do that too .

⁹ They’re not really very nice …girls … when you look at them without ̶b̶e̶e̶r̶-̶g̶o̶g̶g̶l̶e̶s̶ rose-tinted spectacles on.

“Sugar and spice and all things nice; that's what little girls are made of” can only have been written by a woman. Because ... as we all know ... they're actually made of rejects from the fishing industry!

Grumpy, hormonal ratbags, the lot of ’em — they’re just soulless shells stalking the earth, seeking prey upon which to feed … others they can drain of essence vital and then discard … a trail of lifeless husks left in their wake.

I think the reason God gave women breasts must be to remind us all that they're women even when they appear sane — an unmistakable and unmissable visual alert ... an early warning system ¹⁰.

I am so going to get scorned for this — witheringly so 😉

¹⁰ Because, otherwise, we’d be taken in by their smooth curves and soft voices — you know … like any other predator with a lure to fool their prey into a false sense of security and entice them within reach of fang and claw and sting.

Angler Fish (possibly female)

¹¹ I’m not going to translate that into something girls can understand — they’ll never understand ¹².

¹² She only ever does it to boys!

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There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.

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Where Angels Fear

Where Angels Fear

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.

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