Where Angels Fear
3 min readMar 26, 2018


Learn fucking Latin!

Actually, no … because it no longer counts as Latin per se but is, rather, a Latin word used in other languages … a ‘borrowed’ or ‘lent’ word as such are sometimes known … please learn to speak whichever language you like, but whichever language it is, speak it properly!

So, if you are a girl, or a woman, please do yourself … and the rest of us who would like to have at least some idea of what you are talking about by means of a shared language in which the words mean the same (or pretty much the same) thing to both/all of us … a favour and learn something about female anatomy.

I know … ironic, huh?

Because what you will see, below, are emojis designed to look like the vulva … and not the vagina.

If you think that any of them look like a vagina, please speak to a gynaecologist.

If your gynaecologist thinks they look like vaginas … change your gynaecologist ¹.

As an aside … I’d just like to ask why.

Really … why?

Why is there a need for this emoji?

If you are talking to anyone about your private parts they are either

  1. already intimately acquainted with them and you can just use the word that feels appropriate, send them a photo of your axe-wound … whatever.
  2. a medical practitioner of some kind (maybe even a gynaecologist) and they are not going to be impressed by your ‘ruptured eggplant with a half-shelled horse-chestnut jammed in there’ … they’re going to want some more specific … and technical ... detail with which to work (possibly even, in this day and age, a photo).

But in no fucking world is there call for a fucking emoji for it!

Just because a thing can be done, that doesn’t mean it should be done — otherwise I think someone should look into designing an emoji for “paedophile anal penetration” or even “consensual father/daughter incest” … for example.

Learn … to speak!

Any language … I don’t care which — I can always make use of a foreign language dictionary if necessary.

But learn how to speak with words … before we’re all reduced to grunts and squeals … or swapping pictures via text.

Because I have no idea what you said there but, if your hovercraft is full of eels, maybe you should see a gynaecologist rather than telling me about it!

¹ They may not even be a gynaecologist but the janitor seeing how much he can get away with.



Where Angels Fear

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.