Dank EULA

Okay … whatever I might think of the ins and outs of the whole Count Dankula furore is irrelevant.

I mean … let’s face it … I’m possibly developmentally arrested … even possiblier have some latent sadistic tendencies that I’d talk to some kind of therapist about if only I didn’t get such a kick out of them in a number of unwholesome ways … and can, God help me, see the funny side of teaching someone’s dog to respond in that way and filming it.

Why? Just to see the looks on others’ faces … and, sure, it’d be gratifying to see people crack up laughing if they enjoyed it — just not as funny as seeing people recoil in horror at what they were witnessing.

Ha ha ha ha ha! … Your dog’s a Nazi sympathiser … Ha ha ha ha ha!

What can I say? I’m not right in the head.

So, I’m hardly in a position to criticise someone else for their provocative sense of humour, am ?

But underneath all the cynicism, nihilistic despondency and sadistic joy in others’ discomfort, beats the heart of … well, you get it, so I’ll spare us all the unpleasant detail— it’s unseemly.

So, believe me when I say that no-one would be happier to live in a world rainbows, lollipops and sunshine than I … no-one.

No-one believes more than I in a socially liberal, live-and-let-live, 'Do what thou will and it harm no other … whether by action or inaction, by intent or neglect … shall be the whole of the law’ approach to Life, the Universe and Everything.

I’m a hippy dippy tree-hugger by any other name.

Except insofar as if you are the kind of subhuman, sociopathic vermin who make it impossible for me to live in that world or to lead my life that way then, if I thought I’d get away with it, I’d string you up from the nearest lamppost and leave you swinging in the wind pour encourager les autres.

I‘d see a therapist about my homicidal/omnicidal tendencies too but, unfortunately, I don’t live in a world of make-believe … with flowers and bells and leprechauns and magic frogs with funny little hats … and don’t, therefore, walk around thinking that education is all they need and bad people will see the light and we’ll all live happily ever after in a land without lawyers.

That would be foolish because then I’d let my guard down … and there are some very bad people out there who will do you wrong without a second’s pause, go to bed that night, chuckling about what they did to you, sleep like a baby and wake up the next day refreshed and ready to do it all again to someone else.

That’s just the way the World is.

We could try and make it different, sure … could even be successful at it, who knows?

And I’m all for trying.

But it ain’t that way now.

And the truth of the matter is … in a World this anarchic … Might Makes Right.

It doesn’t matter if I wield that power myself directly or engage others to do so on my behalf … whether I do so ‘legitimately’ or otherwise … visibly or in secret … with or without others’ knowledge or favour … as long as I get away with whatever I do and no-one else stands in my way then your rights are what you can defend and no more — and if you can’t defend them against me … then they don’t exist.

So, no, Democracy does not mean the right to free speech, it means the right to do whatever doesn’t piss off more people than you can fight off when they catch you doing it.

And that’s all it means.

You do not have the right to free speech.

You have the right to say what you like, where you like, when you like and to be aware that, if you piss others off enough then they will take action against you and if you don’t like that then tough — there are more of them than there are of you … what’re you going to do about it?

So, do what you like, when you like, where you like, how you like, why you like.

But if other people don’t like it and put a stop to it then you can call the Samaritans on 08457 909090 and tell them your sob story … from your home, from prison, from the bottom of the well, from wherever the mob decides to leave/put you but it won’t change your circumstances and neither should it; you have no rights … just what you can get away with … and the World and everyone in it owes you no consideration whatsoever—man up and stop bleating.