That I enjoy messing with people’s heads will probably come as no surprise — amongst other things, I am, after all, a s̶a̶d̶i̶s̶t̶ psychologist.

Not in a malign way … it’s just harmless fun.

For instance, one game you can play with people is to give them the impression that you have something to hide by telling them your real name.

Let’s suppose your name is Betty. You introduce yourself as ‘Call me Betty’. And do so in a shifty manner, looking trapped and taking a moment before saying

“Call me … … … ‘Betty’.”

On the other hand, if someone else is about to introduce you, you act panic stricken, interrupting them and blurting out “Betty … Call me ‘Betty’!” before they can do so.

If people question you about it, you simply demur and/or change the subject — if really pushed, you go on the passive-aggressive offensive: “Why not? It’s as good a name as any. What’s wrong with my choice of name? Don’t you like it? What have you got against it?”

See … it’s completely harmless. All you’re doing is telling people your real name.

But, if you do it right (it’s all in the timing and delivery), it will mess with their heads and they’ll spend the rest of their days wondering what you’re trying to hide — until such time as someone else finally manages to convince them that, no, really, that really is your name and they spend the rest of their days wondering wtf is wrong with you.

No, I don’t know wtf is wrong with me either … but, like I said, it’s harmless, so what the hell — I’ve done worse ¹.


¹ I’m not legally allowed to discuss that though ².

² I can tell you about these … just not about that ³.

³ Or that, now I come to think of it .

⁴ Or that … or that … or that … or … a disconcerting number of things, actually — and my continuing liberty probably depends very greatly upon my not mentioning a large number of others either .

⁵ It’s been fun being me, but I probably shouldn’t be allowed to play with you — I’m a bit of a bad influence really.

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Where Angels Fear

Where Angels Fear

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.