Basically, I’m Fantastic
But, be that as it may, I do actually have something serious to say ¹. And I’m sorry to have to inform you that it’s that you are a drooling Morlock … a subhuman lifeform, slightly below tapeworm on the evolutionary scale.
No, really … I know that, at this stage, the punchline I’m supposed to deliver is that actually that’s a lie and, far from being sorry about it, I live for these moments but …
- you’re just not that significant — I spend virtually no time at all thinking about your pitiful existence, let alone living for the moments I can mention it
- it genuinely pains me to have to contemplate the fact that you are responsible for all the ills of the World and the reason, therefore, for my misery ²
As you almost certainly aren’t aware (because you’re a clueless simpleton who pays no attention to what’s going on in the World) there’s been a serious issue re our knowledge of genetics for some time now.
Like most bad things in Life these days, it’s the fault of the US (where the lowest rung of Morlockdom lives ⁴), because they’re clueless halfwits who have no idea that there even is a World to which attention might be paid and, therefore, use a date format used by no other people in the entire history of civilisation … not one other people, not anywhere, not ever, not even once, not even by accident … not once, ever, anywhere, not by anyone else …
But it doesn’t stop there … oh, no … because, I did the calculations recently and it transpires that (out of a worldwide population of 7,800,000,000) 7,799,999,023 (+/-300,000 ⁶) of them are stupider than even me …
I’d elaborate but, frankly, what would be the point in trying to explain to you why nobody should use Excel (or, indeed, any other spreadsheet application) for anything other than importing read-only data from databases for the purpose of calculating graphs/pie-charts/etc. and never … ever … for any other purpose? If you were capable of grasping that principle, neither of the other two articles would ever have been written in the first place. Seriously, everything else aside … MS Excel Data Files Exceeding the Maximum Size Resulted in Nearly 16,000 Covid-19 Cases Go Unreported in England … that’s not even English!
If you fancy your chances, however, go right ahead and read the comments to both articles — they do as good a job of explaining it as I would … and save me the bother into the bargain.
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¹ It must be an even-numbered day in a week of a month of a year some time in the decade to date (or the coming ten years or so).
² Because it requires me to contemplate
- all the ills in the World
- my consequent misery
- you
- my consequent misery
- your partner, your parents, your partner’s parents, your siblings, your kids, your siblings’ kids. your partner’s kids by another partner, your neighbours, your neighbours’ parents, your neighbours’ siblings, your neighbours’ kids, your neighbours’ siblings’ kids, everyone else you meet, have met or will ever meet … and all the others like you ³.
- my consequent misery
- Zone 3 in general
- my consequent misery.
³ *sigh*
⁴ Not only do they still insist on using imperial, rather than metric, measurements, but the imperial measurements they use aren’t even the same as the ones they copied from the British (and they didn’t even notice that we weigh things in stones, not pounds either ⁵)
⁵ In the US, due to the inbreeding, they only have three fingers on each hand, so they’re taught to count “1, 2, lots” and, as the concept of counting on more than one hand is beyond them, the idea of metacategories is equally beyond them — it’s a miracle they’ve even managed to learn the principle of gallons and don’t simply measure things exclusively in pints.
⁶ Which sounds like a large margin of error until you stop and realise that it’s 0.0038% of the World’s population and there are larger differences between F1 racing results.
