4WD (Low Ratio)

As I seem to have been on a bit of a roll recently, when it comes to sensible posts about sensible topics, I thought I should keep the momentum going.

So …

Right-hand drive vehicles driven on the left-hand side of the road are the logical conclusion of living in a world in which most people are right-handed.

Unless you are some sort of left-handed freak (in which case, you shouldn’t even be allowed out of the attic/basement, never mind on the roads) …

  1. When you use your left hand to change gear, adjust volume, reach for something, whatever, you leave your dominant hand on the wheel — which is safer.
  2. Your dominant (i.e. right) eye is closer to oncoming traffic, meaning your perception thereof is better — which is safer.
  3. There’s less cognitive load involved in the left-hand gear-change + left-foot clutch/transmission than right-hand gear-change + left-foot clutch/transmission — which is less distracting and, therefore, safer.

‎‎

So, why do so many countries drive on the right, in left-hand drive vehicles?

It be due to inbreeding … foreigners have filthy habits after all … but it’s probably more fundamental than that. Which came first … the ̶c̶h̶i̶c̶k̶e̶n incest or the ̶e̶g̶g imbecility? It’s a bit of a vicious circle, really: after all, no-one in their right mind sleeps with their own kin in the first place, but hundreds-to-thousands of years later and the rest of you just aren’t in a good place to start with, no matter you try to ameliorate the situation and the answer is six of one half a dozen of the other swings and roundabouts — to those of you who haven’t figured out the chicken and egg thing yet, it was the cockerel/rooster that came first (no sperm, no eggs … no eggs, no chickens … duh).

The thing is that Napoleon Boneparte made commoners walk on the right, so that they couldn’t effectively take on their horse-mounted superiors in the cavalry — when a horse impales itself on your pitchfork, you don’t want your strong arm bracing the bottom of the shaft but near the top, so that you can maneuver your opponent’s fall more effectively, because it’s closer to their centre of gravity and you can thus use their momentum against them to steer them away from you, instead of on top of you … so, he set about reversing that situation.

If you drive on the right, it’s because you are a subservient peasant.

So … if you don’t want to be a beta cuck loser … and, if you don’t want the inbreeding turning your nation into a cesspit of drooling morlocks to get any worse … drive on the left.

It might help, but it can’t hurt ¹.


¹ Although it do to with, whilst people get accustomed to it … so, I dunno, you might want signs … and/or bumper stickers … to remind people ².

² Something along the lines of “Don’t f**k your sister, drive on the left” ³.

³ Or something.

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.