10 Things You Don’t Know About Me

(But were too afraid to ask)

1. My name is not ‘Maurice Micklewhite’ ¹.
2. I don’t like the letter ‘K’.
3. My favourite food is less than 10 metres away.
4. If the car crashes, I might walk away from it. If the boat sinks, I might swim away from it (or at least find some flotsam to cling to until I’m rescued). If the plane loses power, however … well, I don’t know about you, but I can’t fly.
5. I have had so many (self-inflicted) near-death experiences that it’s little short of miraculous that I’m alive to tell you that.
6. I am a time traveller — meet me here in 24 hours and I’ll see you tomorrow.
7. I have, quite possibly, thwarted an alien invasion of the Earth and saved the planet from almost certain destruction — possibly more than once.
8. I don’t have an abiding fear that, one day, mice and spiders will cross breed, to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders, which will immobilise human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese … but it does occasionally cross my mind.
9. I suffer from synaesthesia — every time I punch someone, I see blood.
10. I could tell you, but then I’d have to have you killed ².

I trust this list meets with your expectations, SouthPawPoet.

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¹ Not many people know that.

² And, if you stop and think about it … I think you’d agree that’s a considerably more disconcerting prospect than “but then I’d have to kill you” ³.

³ It’s the little details that make all the difference in Life.