Gratuitous Vulgarity For Fun And Profit

It’s probably best just to get this one out of the way now.

Whilst I’m in one of those moods.

Get it off my chest and all that.

If you’ve been reading my nonsense for any length of time, you’ll have noticed that I do not shy away from the vernacular — the ‘F’ and ‘C’ words hold no fear for me and I make liberal use of them as I feel the occasion demands.

If you’re a recent newcomer … well … look, the above still holds but rest assured it’s not all I do (if you look back at my posting history you’ll notice that I do say sensible things with surprising frequency) and I’ll get back to some world-weary, curmudgeonly nihilism fairly soon … or some hippy dippy tree-hugging hippy crap disguised as something else … or some pithy observation about the state of the World … or some exercise in style over substance shaggy dog story full of the most dreadful puns I can contrive — in short, normal service will be resumed.

And if you’ve joined significantly later than today then the chances are you’ll never read this anyway because I post far too much, far too frequently and there’s only so much of it a person can take before they throw up their hands in horror … or just plain throw up … at the prospect of wading back through all my crap.

So … if you are at all likely to be offended by the use of the ‘C’ word … may I suggest you go to Youtube and find some amusing kitten videos to watch instead of reading this particular post?

Or baby sloths!

Baby sloth videos are great!

Especially the ones where they’re being bathed in a sanctuary for orphaned baby sloths and then they’re wrapped in special, little baby sloth pyjamas.

They’re so cute … and so happy … and smiley … and … and … and … and my heart could just break from happiness to see them so cared for and happy even though they’re orphans — I could burst into tears right now just thinking about it.

Look … here’s an orphaned baby sloth with a ‘teddy bear’.

How lovely is that!?!

Really though, if Anglo-Saxon vernacular … especially the ‘C’ word … offends you, you should look away now.

and come back when I’ve posted something else — and not one about giant bass dildos fisting your mom either!

Still here?

Okay, well, on your own head be it — you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

A friend of mine is waiting for prostitution to be legalised, so that he can set up a brothel in an old church … and call it “Holy Fuck.

I’m thinking of setting up a pan-European, low-class escort-agency … called “Eurocunt.”

I can hear the receptionist answering the phone even now: “Hello. You’re a cunt.

Oh, and the TV-ad/radio-jingle … with a nice mixed choral at the end of it: “You’re a cuuuuuuunt …

No, surely she/they said ‘Eurocunt’— no-one would insult their client-base that way, would they?



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Where Angels Fear

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.