!!!?
(D ’n’ Cbeebies)
I’m speechless.
Lost for words.
I just can’t even …
Look … I like my Bad-And-Wrong … don’t mistake me. I’m well-known for it.
Even when I’m playing a recognised genre rather than one of my trademark ‘see what I can get away with this time’ anything goes ‘Bad And Wrong’ sets, I’m known for doing stuff that nobody in their right mind would dream of even in their foulest nightmares on the basis that I want to take you somewhere tonight but there’s no way I’ll get away with it if I warn you in advance, so, what I have to do is mess with your head so hard first that, by the time I’m ready to stop the foreplay and start getting down to business, you have no idea which way up is Thursday and you’re softened brain is putty in my hands — you’re in no position to defend yourself and will let me do anything I like to you.
So, I’ll start out with some fairly standard stuff, lull you into a false sense of security.
I’ll switch it up to some oldskool toontown rave
… throw in bits and pieces from leftfield with increasing frequency
… before dropping all pretence at airy fairy Hollywood/Mills&Boon/Hallmark romance and getting down to doing you dirty.
Before long, wherever you thought you were going tonight is not even a distant memory … this bus left Kansas behind a long time ago … and when I drop Donkey Rhubarb, you don’t even flinch
Not long after that, the grooming process is over: never mind Donkey Rhubarb, I can drop the actual Teletubbies and you’ll go wild for it.
I can visit any indignity I like upon you and you love it; you’re mine and we both know it — by the time I’m done, you’re on your hands and knees begging to have my abortion.
I am a bad … and very wrong … man.
But I am not degenerate.
See that featured image at the top of this post … that’s your visual reference for where you need to click on the waveform you get to by clicking on the link below (5'24" / 5 minutes, 24 seconds).
Now that’s just WRONG!
There just aren’t words to describe how wrong it is.
That’s Reykjavik twinned with R’lyeh levels of wrong.
D’n’B for Children’s TV is child abuse!
I think I’m gonna cry.
